Only your heart knows what you have lost. The question remains can you revive it? I think you can! Just by the fact that you've put out the post. You're not willing to give up... so.... DON'T!
(Thinking back) The road to Knighthood for me was filled with laughter, great times and a lot of twisted bumps. But, it's the trials that make us better people & Knights. They teach us to to be humble, to have empathy, to see things from a different point of view other then our own. I know that politics can be a factor in Knighthood. If you like politics that's great... but... If you don't and it's weighing you down... you have the right to step back from it and tell people you need to have a rest for a short bit and will return. And when they say.. "Yah but..." You have got to be firm and redirect them to someone else. Because we all have just kept going... and going.... and going... but even the "Bunny" needs to recharge his batteries.
People get scared when you step back for a while... that natural. People come to expect certain things from us as Knights. But, you are not doing yourself "service" by not stopping and smelling the roses every now and then.
I thank-you from the bottom of my heart!... At the Mt. Chareston Event, You helped me with my tips and I was finally able to fight and get combat points! I've been waiting 4 years to do that! You went above and beyond teaching us all about Bardics. You showed passion, excitment, you inspired others to keep trying bardics and me the ablity to keep fighting combat.
WOW... That's a BIG impact! Isn't that one of the things that being a Knight is about!?!